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Joke of the Day

"The new fun way to tell if a celebrity is crazy is by how many times they delete and reactivate their Twitter account."

"I haven't gotten laid all year and its not even 2017 yet"

"Well, I've been clean 6 days now. This 'showering' thing is amazing."

"I laugh like a dumbass every time I hear the term 'manhole'. Maturity will not be reached."

"Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet."

"What's the difference between a blowjob and pizza? Your mom never gave me pizza."

"With so many gay people nowadays... It's hard to keep them all straight."

"A dwarf psychic escaped from a police holding cell. Headlines read ""Small Medium at Large"""

"A toilet seat left up in the ladies room can only mean one thing. Lady cocks."

"How come squirrels get a pass to bury whatever they want in the park but the cops go crazy when I try to bury one tiny bloody knife?"