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Joke of the Day

"I laugh like a dumbass every time I hear the term 'manhole'. Maturity will not be reached."

"Duck you AutoCorrect! You Blimb! I'm way more BadApps than you make me out to be! You Ducking piece of shed..BuckFace Toothless Bastilleday!"

"My 2 year old wanted to race me home from daycare and I am TOTALLY winning. I don't even see her tricycle in my rear-view mirror."

"What's the difference between polite conversation and an erection? I can maintain polite conversation."

"How do you say, Richard and Robert raped the rabbit, with no R's Dick and Bob fucked a bunny."

"What reads and lives in an apple ? A bookworm !"

"Don't leave me alone. Alone: I have a boyfriend."

"Ironically, I hate people who say ""like us on Facebook""."

"I have a lot of clothes but I only wear like 5% and It looks like I have none and I refuse to wear the other 95% because I fucking look ugly in them."

"Charlie Brown decided to wear transparent pants one day... ...and when Lucy saw him she said ""I always thought you were a blockhead, Charlie Brown, but now I can plainly see your nuts."""