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Joke of the Day

"What do women and KFC have in common? Once your done with breasts and the thighs, all you have left to do is stick your bone in a greasy box..."

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"Where does the pirate put his ear ring? In his buccaneer."
"The name's Bond.. James Earl Jones."
"Girl: Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say 'beautiful' instead. Me: Ok. Me: Can you please pass the beautiful sauce?"
"What's the problem with radioactive underpants? Chernobyl fall out.."
"Last year I asked a girl out, this year I'd ask her to marry me but... the restraining order is still in effect..."
"Wife: ""You talk like some poorly written science fiction novel. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""I swear by the 12 moons of Bumtar I can change!"""
"Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says ""if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new...."" ""anything"" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic."
"I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger."
"Why do meth heads like to do it doggy style? So they can both peek out the blinds."