1923

Joke of the Day

"My car starts to hydroplane. I let go & whisper, ""Do it. Become the plane you've always dreamed of. I love you."" *Soft kiss*"

"What did the Mexican carpeting salesman yell to promote his business? Underlay! Underlay!"

"left my laptop bag at a restaurant last night and today i went to pick it up and the lady asked what was inside to verify that it's mine,"

"Because it pisses off r/funny Why would I type the punchline in the title?"

"There's a question in the exam that said, ""What is the past tense of 'think'?"" So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'."

"So I took a practice test on photons today... It didn't matter."

"When 3 people have sex, it's called a threesome... When 2 people have sex it's called a twosome. Now I understand why they call me handsome."

"If flies fly after flies flies fly fucking fast It's better in Dutch: > Als vliegen achter vliegen vliegen vliegen vliegen vliegensvlug"

"You know Coca Cola's newest advertising campaign in russia? Under each seventh cap - **vodka**!"

"What do you call a fat skeleton? big boned"