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Joke of the Day

"A police officer pulls over a speeding car.. The cop said to the driver, ""Ha! I've been waiting for someone like you all day!"". The driver replied, ""Well, I got here as fast as I could!"""

"My ex used to sing ""Brown Eyed Girl"" to me.... I have blue eyes. This should have been a sign."

"Hello, you're through to Sea World Your call may be used for training Porpoises."

"Going to How to Train Your Dragon tomorrow... Or marriage guidance counselling as the wife calls it."

"What do you call a bra? A boobie trap. Thanks 3rd grade nephew."

"I've compiled a list of famous athletes who have spent time in prison. It's a pros and cons list."

"I bought my girlfriend 2 presents for her birthday I got her a new pair of shoes and a dildo. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself."

"I use to know someone who was addicted to soap. He's clean now"

"Hello 911? Yeah, my wife accidentally fell off a cruise ship 3 months ago"

"IF I WIN THE LOTTERY MY CATS ARE GETTING GOLD TEETH AND CANOPY BEDS"