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Joke of the Day

"what do my ex and my toilet have in common? They both keep bringing up old shit"

"Recent studies have shown that 63% of women have used vibrators. The other 37% have brand new ones."

"I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know."

"Why did the Chinese almost lose in Mulan? They had way to many chinks in their armor."

"If we do end up colonizing Mars.. ..the WiFi there would be out of this world"

"I'm always two drinks away from digging up my backyard to look for dinosaur bones"

"""I love my Job!"" -Job's wife"

"I'm more pissed off than a midget with a yo-yo."

"Fire at will! Why does everyone hate Will? ^^courtesy ^^of ^^my ^^Uncle ^^Rick"

"Good news: It works the other way around. I entered ""internal bleeding"" & ""unconscious"" in WebMD and it said I have a stuffy nose. Phew."