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Joke of the Day

"Does the five-second rule apply to soup? Please hurry. Edit: Nevermind."

"What's the difference between Jimmy Savile and a greyhound. The Greyhound waits for the hair to appear first."

"what did Putin say to Ukraine? Crimea river."

"A Donkey fell into a bowl of sugar. Now that's a sweet ass!"

"If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn't, you should know that I ignored you first."

"I just want to live in a world where people come with on/off switches."

"My Grandfather is deceased So I guess that makes me 1/4 Deceased?"

"I am 48 and my wife is 8 months pregnant. am i too old to be a dad?"

"Scientists are attempting to clone Ice Age Cave Lions because running into a raccoon when I take out the trash isn't scary enough."

"[Spelling Bee] Your word is palindrome ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Go hang a salami I'm a lasagna hog."