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Joke of the Day

"I joined a poker tournament with a bunch of people who do origami. I'm gonna dominate, cause these guys always fold."

"Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet... it takes a Chinese newborn an extra three hours to make their goddamned shoes."

"You can use lemon juice to get the goat's blood out of the drapes. #householdhints"

"I don't trust trees... They're a little shady... And they killed my dog."

"A Jewish Boy Asks His Dad For $20 Surprised the dad says, ""$10 dollars?! What the hell do you need $5 dollars for?!"""

"I was in the park the other day wondering why the frisbee looks bigger the closer it gets... And then it hit me."

"wear a condom... i kid you not"

"What do you call a computer that sings? A-Dell."

"""Don't get any ideas."" - Worn out light bulb"

"Where is Pinocchio's website? On the splinternet."