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Joke of the Day
"I don't trust trees... They're a little shady... And they killed my dog."
Next Joke
"on earth: a magiciam puts his hand in his hat in the rabbit realm: The Hand emerges. it is time. the rabit council must chose a sacrifice"
"Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East? Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East."
"Stranger:""Your tag is sticking out"" Me:""Does it say size 4?"" Stranger:""Yes it does"" Then don't touch it bitch,it's supposed to stick out"
"When my wife does our daughter's hair: ""How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?"" When I do her hair: ""How about a hat?"""
"Her: You spent our entire life savings on dogs Me: They're golden retrievers, Karen. They retrieve gold. I did it for us"
"Why don't old women ever have sex? ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"
"Are there holes in your socks? No? Then how do you put them on?"
"Starting to fear that all the urgent work emails I LOL'd at and deleted earlier were not actually April Fools' jokes."
"Walentine's Day When your woman decides to give the gift you really wanted."