151719
Joke of the Day
"wear a condom... i kid you not"
Next Joke
"Exclamation point rules ! - good !! - excited !!! - awesome !!!! - starting to get creepy !!!!! - cheerleader creepy !!!!!! - own 20 cats"
"How do you know Jesus was Jewish? He lived at home until he was 30. He went into his fathers business. He thought his mother was a virgin, and his mother thought he was god."
"The worktops in my kitchen were put in by a professional counter-fitter... Turns out they were fake."
"Why do Trans people hate the former Soviet Republics? [Fucking CIS scum.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commonwealth_of_Independent_States)"
"Got my dad today nope nevermind, he ran away again"
"Whenever I'm depressed, I go to the roof at night, watch the view, reminisce, look at the stars and be touched by the lord.... ..the land lord.."
"If Gravemind from Halo did product placement... We exist / Together now Two corpses / In one grave Burma-Shave"
"Best actor of all time in human history. Also Starring"
"Him: you look tired today Me: you look like you need a mouth that says better sentences"