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Joke of the Day

"I was in the park the other day wondering why the frisbee looks bigger the closer it gets... And then it hit me."

"So i was sitting on the toilet today... Nah it's a shit joke, nevermind"

"What do Ethiopians have in common with Yoko Ono? They both live off dead beetles"

"""Sir, how may I help you?"" *swivels around in chair* -- A coffee please! ""Did you bring that chair in here?"" *reclines back* --- Maybe?"

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on pick-up lines. The librarian replies, ""It's in my house, if you want to come over and collect it."""

"If anyone needs me, I'll be at the hospital leaving robots and newspapers from the year 2310 in the rooms of coma patients."

"How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes."

"What do you call a zoo that only has dogs? A shit zoo."

"Was Johann Sebastian Bach wealthy? No, he was baroque."

"If you're an astronaut.. and you don't end every relationship with ""I need space"" then you're just wasting your time"