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Joke of the Day

"Mom goes to the store.... Mom: Going to the store son what do you need? Me: Bleach. Mom: Why? Me : I heard on the internet that bleach cures sadness when you drink it"

"I've completed my 1st four year term as husband and have been elected to a 2nd. Let the lame duck husbandry begin."

"""Do drugs!!"" - Reverse psychology drug prevention program"

"The reality is that if you have a job that requires a name tag, I'll never give a fuck what your name is."

"Most people go talk to a therapist, family, or friends to get shit off their chest... ...I however just go take a shower."

"What do you think of Miles Davis? he kind of blew"

"My friend told me Kanye West was the next John Lennon I replied ""Then I'll be the next Mark David Chapman"""

"Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas? A1: They can't find the zipper. A2: They cant find the pull tab."

"If I committed suicide, I'd do it in front of a mirror... I'll see myself out."

"Oi, shower curtain - nobody likes you, we just tolerate you. Stop going in for a hug."