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Joke of the Day

"What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat? ""Men, get in the boat!"""

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter because he's not coming"

"This gave me a small chuckle this morn. knock knock -who's there rupert murdoch -rupert murdoch who? i don't know what you're talking about"

"I told my old classmate at our 10-year reunion that I'm a writer. ""Oh yeah?"" he asks. ""Have you sold anything yet?"" I said, ""Sure. My house, my car, and all my stuff."""

"Why does the indian rain dance always work? Becuase they keep dancing until it works."

"I went to a feminist picnic last weekend... No one made any sandwiches."

"What do you call a nun that is lost? A Roamin' Catholic"

"[oval office] SECRETARY: (shrieks) there's a dead rat on my desk! PRESIDENT WHO IS A CAT: wow someone must really like you *winks*"

"They found Ellen Degeneres dead today. She was face down in Ricki Lake. Did I do it right this time?"

"unstable person: ""when there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth"" stable person: ""i look after the horses"""