20368

Joke of the Day

"I told my old classmate at our 10-year reunion that I'm a writer. ""Oh yeah?"" he asks. ""Have you sold anything yet?"" I said, ""Sure. My house, my car, and all my stuff."""

"Pregnant white women over 30 always buy the biggest SUV around, because you never know when you'll give birth to half of a baseball team."

"I wish my ears would visibly lay back like a cats when I'm pissed off so people would know when to leave me the hell alone."

"I had a goal to lose 20 Pounds by the end of the year. 30 pounds to go"

"You can have any movie from Rick Astley's Pixar collection, except for one He's never gonna give you Up. ^^^^^^sorrynotsorry"

"What did the German clock maker say to the broken clock? Ve haff vays of making you tock!"

"there is nothing wrong with being nice, but there is something wrong with being nice to people."

"Why do baby clothes have pockets? I've never heard a baby say: ""cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"""

"Why was the Taiwanese business man so stressed out? Because he had a Taipei personality."

"There's a woman here who, by the amount of makeup on her face, fought with a rainbow - and lost."