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Joke of the Day

"This gave me a small chuckle this morn. knock knock -who's there rupert murdoch -rupert murdoch who? i don't know what you're talking about"

"Cars Why do lazy people only drive automatics? Because they're shiftless."

"You remind me of my step-son... I'm only nice to you because I'm fucking your mother"

"Everyone is freaking out about all these glasses that glow under a backlight... ... But my sheets have been glowing under backlights since I was 14"

"Hear about the Hell's Angels biker who's a baker? he's bad to the scone"

"What does the Chicago Cubs's name stand for? Completely Useless By September"

"What do you call a seabird who's easily taken in? Gullible."

"If I ever get arrested, my one phone call will be to the police station to do a bomb scare. I'm not spending the night there."

"What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynocologist? One looks up your family tree, and the other looks up your family bush."

"Sometimes I squat... ...and pull my legs up to my chest and lean forward. Why? That's how I roll."