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Joke of the Day

"Why are gay men so well dressed? They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing"

"Wanna hear my life story? tl;dr..."

"What dog is the worst at polishing a turd? A poodull"

"He approaches me from behind and wraps his arms around me and I am breathless. With one firm and quick thrust, he dislodges my food."

"You would have thought that someone would have invented hindsight sooner."

"""Ok, guys, before you start calling me a pervert, let me just say I found a great source of protein."" The first guy who ever milked a cow."

"[hospital] Looks like ur Vine went viral. ""Yay!"" Sorry ur VEIN went viral...you have a fatal blood disease. ""So waitmy Vine didn't go viral?"""

"A guy noticed his friend was late for work... ""Where have you been?"" he asked. ""To my mother-in-law's burial."" ""Then why the scratches on your face?"" ""She kept resisting, that old fart."""

"My favourite anti joke."

"Why did the 16 year old Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to go home and do an essay."