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Joke of the Day

"Why did the 16 year old Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to go home and do an essay."

"Interested in: ( ) men ( ) women (X) food"

"What do you call a seagull that flies by the bay? a bagel"

"Judge: Order in the court [from the back] Me: Can I get a large pepperoni pizza with... [puts hand over speaker and looks around] what?"

"My penis is so big if i laid it out on a keyboard It would reach from A to Z"

"This cab driver has zero clue that ive played crazy taxi extensively and am critiquing his every move"

"Your Facebook posts are like your children. Some go on to become successful and others make you look stupid."

"What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? A pick-pocket snatches watches."

"The thought of having my own kids is scary because anyone who's half me and half someone dumb enough to have sex with me is doomed"

"HR: You said: You're ""moist"" welcome? Me: Autocorrect. HR: You're fine. Me: Sweet! HR: I meant: you're fired. Autocorrect."