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Joke of the Day

"He approaches me from behind and wraps his arms around me and I am breathless. With one firm and quick thrust, he dislodges my food."

"I have a love/hate relationship with going to extremes."

"How can you tell if someone is a construction worker or a chemist The way they pronounce unionised"

"Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. After all, if you can't trust your girlfriend, how do you know she won't tell your wife?"

"On our third date, my girlfriend told me that she was bisexual. I broke it off with her because I definitely need sex more than every two weeks."

"How long is a meter in Spain? A Spanard"

"Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life.... Avoiding them"

"Donald Duck has been hanged... ...And is now in a state of suspended animation."

"How did colonel Sanders take over the chicken market? A coup."

"Crime TV shows aren't what they used to be That's why I support Donald Trump's promise to bring back Law and Order."