127999

Joke of the Day

"My child: Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Me: ""That's impossible, they're all running for president right now."""

"There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't"

"High school prepares you for real life! For example, show choir taught me how to put on eyeliner and lip liner in a car on the freeway"

"i just want someone to love me as much as sean penn loves haiti"

"What do you call two chinese guys in a firebird? Gooks of Hazard"

"[META] Ever since the sub returned, it's become a hive of circlejerking, reposts, and bad quality. I'm so happy things were able to stay the same."

"What's a riot? Three dyslexics."

"I asked an Australian to greet me... He kept beating around the bush saying ""I might""."

"If Ronald Reagan were alive today he would roll in his grave... roll, scream, kick and so would you if you woke up in a casket."

"Little joke I thought of: What do you call a duck being kidnapped? An abduction. I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door."