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Joke of the Day

"""Hey Iron Man, how'd you get your powers?"" *flashes back to tony stark being bitten by a radioactive ironing board*"

Next Joke
 
"HR: Did you call an employee stupid? Me: No, I asked if he knew he was stupid."
"Where does Christian Grey make photocopies? FedEx Kinky's"
"""Say ur a bad girl"" I'm a bad girl ""oooh yeah, and tell me what bad girls do..."" ooh i'm gonna sign up for 3 months of yoga and only go twice"
"[Spelling bee] Judge: ""Your word is unhelpful."" Kid: ""Can you use it in a sentence please?"" Judge: ""Nope."""
"Him: Wow you're eating again? Me: Wow you're celibate again?"
"Just saw a Fiat 500 smash into a Smart Car on I-95. Cutest. Thing. Ever."
"People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to become a comedian... well nobody's laughing now!"
"""An apple a day takes Billion Dollars away"" ~ Samsung"
"A dog was giving birth on the side of the road... She was cited with littering."