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Joke of the Day

"Little joke I thought of: What do you call a duck being kidnapped? An abduction. I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door."

"Sometimes a man has needs that can't be fulfilled in the home. [goes to animal shelter and pets all the cats]"

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? For being outstanding in his field!"

"How do you get a hippy chick pregnant? Cum on her birkenstocks and let the flies do the rest"

"Where does the army keep fish? In a tank."

"What do you call a Jamaican with diahorrea? *Cool Runnings*"

"Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan."

"Got a hot new neighbor, I finally have something to look at with my night vision goggles besides raccoons."

"Why wouldn't the teacher fart in public? Because she was a private tutor"

"I don't want to play a band instrument at school because I only get F minor"