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Joke of the Day
"Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer."
Next Joke
"There are 1000 shopping carts inside this Walmart, yet I always pick the one with the wheel that makes everyone look like a meth addict."
"Few people talk about Hitler's other known book about war games, Mein Sweeper."
"When people talk to me I cut them right off and say ""I don't believe a god damn thing you just said"" then start making otter noises."
"[during a huddle in a crucial ice hockey match] ME: Ok listen up guys [all the other players look at me] ME: Is....is anyone else cold?"
"How come I can get free wifi with a $3 cup of coffee but I can't get it with a $150 hotel room?"
"If you walk into Whole Foods with a McD's cheeseburger, you'll be dragged to the meat locker & gang banged with a free range chicken wing."
"What are the inhabitants of Crete called? Cretins!"
"I grew up on cartoon violence So naturally, when I fight, it's a giant dust ball with stars and exclamation points flying about"
"With subpar graphics and no discernable plot, TurboTax is, hands down, the worst video game I have ever played."