190671

Joke of the Day

"There are 1000 shopping carts inside this Walmart, yet I always pick the one with the wheel that makes everyone look like a meth addict."

"Paychecks are like dicks... Although you don't go around comparing yours to other peoples, you always hope it's a little bigger."

"A man hires a $10 hooker and gets crabs... He goes back with the hooker and complaints , she says ""what were you expecting for 10 bucks? Lobster?"""

"I told my 5 year old that he was allowed to choose 1 item from the grocery store so we're walking home with a cart."

"Mullets: Business in the front. Party-at-a-mobile-home-til-5am-drinking-Pabst-then-go-home-&-get-arrested-for-domestic-violence in the back"

"What do you call a Mexican crossed with an octopus? I don't know, but it sure can pick lettuce."

"Before you have kids, practice yelling ""GET UP NOW OR I WILL TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL IN YOUR PAJAMAS!"" & see if it's right for you."

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? ""Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!"""

"What do you call a frisbee that's more than a friend? Frisbae"

"My sex life is like a Ferrari I don't have one :("