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Joke of the Day

"How come I can get free wifi with a $3 cup of coffee but I can't get it with a $150 hotel room?"

"""Guess What?"" ""What?"" ""Good Guess"""

"What did Pat Benatar say to the kid throwing cereal at her? Stop using Chex as a weapon!"

"I'm ABSOLUTELY positive I'd accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber."

"How can you tell the sex of an ant? Throw it into a pool. If it sinks, it is a girl ant. If it floats, then it is a ""BUOYANT""."

"Phone rang for the 1st time in 4 months. My reaction was similar to finding a dead mouse on my porch. I circled it & poked it with a stick."

"Had a summer job helping to make art out of elephant dung. It was pretty shit."

"The difference between ""Girlfriend"" and ""Girl Friend"" is that little space in between. We call the ""Friend Zone""."

"""That'll be $147,382."" - The cab driver after taking Will Smith from Philadelphia to Bel Air."

"Somewhere right now, a girl just uploaded a picture of a place she went to in the past with a caption that says ""take me back </3"""