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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."

"[Boss' office] ""You're late AGAIN."" Drove back for my phone. ""Why do need it at work?"" It's all I do. ""WHAT?"" I said, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU."

"what's the difference between a my girlfriend and a voice activated sink? One gets turned on and all wet when I speak to it. The other is a voice activated sink."

"Why didn't Hitler ever order the French Dip sandwich when he went out to eat? Because he hated au jus."

"What's the longest piece of furniture in the school? The multiplication table."

"When I refer to old relatives passing away I never say ""RIP"" because I don't wants them to rest. I want them to Zumba."

"What do you call immigrants to Sweden? Ugly."

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child? Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!"

"Why do rappers repeat their names in their songs? So they dont forget it."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Hunchback Barbie ...pull the string and she cries ""Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"""