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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Hitler ever order the French Dip sandwich when he went out to eat? Because he hated au jus."

"What's the worst thing you can hear while giving Willie Nelson a blowjob? I'm not Willie Nelson..."

"A guy walks into a bar with a gun and yelled ""Who slept with my wife?"" and in the background someone replied ""You ain't got enough bullets."""

"What if Hitler was cast for 'The Matrix' instead of Keanu Reeves? The movie would have been pretty... Neo-Nazi."

"Teachers at the pre-school ask why I'm in a good mood in the morning... I'm like, ""Duh...did you not see me just leave my kids with you?"""

"What is the best thing to take when you're run over? The number of the car that hit you."

"There is no doubt in my mind, I would trade my ovaries for another liver."

"Something with high frequency hit me It really hertz"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into my girlfriend's ass."

"ME: Don't you see, the treasure is our friendship PIRATE: ...Aye ME: P: I cherish ya me matey but honestly ya misled me a tad didn't ya"