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Joke of the Day

"what's the difference between a my girlfriend and a voice activated sink? One gets turned on and all wet when I speak to it. The other is a voice activated sink."

"Why did the chicken soup cross the road? Because it was down hill!"

"[covered in olive oil, salt, pepper and other herbs and spices] Professor: ""That's just not what I meant when I said ""come prepared""..."""

"What is robot jazz called? Beep Boop Bop!"

"How many women does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, but I bet we could pay them less than a group of men for the same amount of work."

"Bread -mummy I'm tired of always eating bread from yesterday! When will we eat bread that was made TODAY? -tomorrow darling."

"What do you call someone who did their dissertation on the atrocities of Andrew Jackson? A Hickory Dickery Doc"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cabot ! Cabot who ? Cabotret !"

"I hate the people who shout ""THIS IS THE POLICE, OPEN THE DOOR YOU CREEP"". Who plays those kind of jokes anymore? You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez."

"I've grown bored of reality, So I started watching cable news."