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Joke of the Day

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Hunchback Barbie ...pull the string and she cries ""Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"""

"Who cooks in a lesbian relationship? No one, they both eat out."

"Johnny Depps wife filed for divorce, thanks a lot Australia! This is why nice people don't visit you!"

"What do you call a ghost in spring? April ghouls"

"What's better than winning a silver in the paralympics? Being able to walk."

"""Let's make sure there's 3 miles of handicap parking."" -Walmart"

"Me: check out this new gadget. It carbonates anything! Friend: cool Me: yeah even blood Friend: um I gotta go Me: lol no you're staying"

"Her: Wanna ""lex"" tonight? Him: What's that? Her: Lazy sex. Him: What do we do? Her: Lay in bed and send each other Huffington Post articles."

"pooping on a party is still the number one way to poop a party."

"Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes."