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Joke of the Day

"What did the pizza say to the pizza cutter? Wanna pizza me?"

"Let's all smash our hands together repeatedly to indicate that we enjoyed that thing."

"FRIENDS reunion (2016) RACHEL: [texting from bar] sry smthg came up CHANDLER: [texting from home] same... work JOEY: [in LA] wait THIS friday?"

"A body was found.... In the bus station early this morning. A man was drowned in milk, buried in Cheerios, with a banana stuxk in his ass. Police suspect a cereal killer...."

"People who don't wash their hands make me sick."

"I was going to dress up as a turn signal for Halloween But no one around here knows what the hell that is!"

"Fruit roll ups I went to the supermarket and asked a clerk if they had fruit roll ups, he then called his gay manager to hug me."

"Called one of those claims companies after my accident... ... Turns out you can't get any compensation if you shit yourself on the bus."

"ME: Um, I specifically requested Mary. BLOODY CARLA: Listen, do you want your eyes clawed out or not?"

"A guy walks into a bar. ouch!"