39905

Joke of the Day

"Called one of those claims companies after my accident... ... Turns out you can't get any compensation if you shit yourself on the bus."

"How do you eat an Indian taco? Lift her gut."

"A tiger goes to the gym... ... wearing women's underwear underneath his workout clothes. When he does squats does that make him a crouching tiger with hidden drag on?"

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the chin."

"How does Ice-Cube drink his milk? Straight Outta Carton."

"What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac? Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog."

"I arranged a fundraising event for victims of land mines last week. Total waste of time though!! Only half the people turned up."

"New music is so bad you should be cool like me: longing for a fictionalized version of the past you werent even alive for in the first place"

"One obtuse angle says to the other, ""Oh man it's hot in here!"" The other one replies, ""Yeah, it's over 90 degrees!"""

"What does a Mexican duck say? Guac Guac"