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Joke of the Day

"Sorry 2015, but I just got out of a year-long relationship with 2014 and I'm not looking for anything serious right now."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a needle. I see your point! Tell me straight Doc Is it bad? Well I ouldn't start watching any new soap operas!"

"Why is Germany taking in immigrants because they have the camps."

"[thinks about me petting a very cool dog] me: oh hell yea"

"What kind of pants does Mario wear? *denim denim denim*"

"What kind of blood did the mna have who culdn't spel right? Typo."

"What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman? Make it *sew*!"

"What do you call a leper in a hot tub? Soup"

"Wife holding bank statement: What's this payment? Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly? M: No, it's just for the one skydive"

"Husband wanted me to go hunting today. He bought me the cutest brown outfit and a cute lil hat, you know with the fake antl..wait a minute"