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Joke of the Day

"Why is Germany taking in immigrants because they have the camps."

"There are two kinds of people in the world 1. Those that like black licorice. 2. Normal people."

"My favorite word is plagiarism. I invented that word."

"Me: What are your plans for tonight? 13: Think I'll hang out with you and mom. Me: Goddammit...uh I mean that's great."

"Being a dog with no legs - it's no walk in the park"

"What is the difference between period blood and sand? You can't gargle sand!"

"Why do American's take letters out of words? Because they're lazy, and they hate U."

"Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship? They need space."

"I've been dating this lady who is gluten free... Problem is, we go to a deli, she asks, ""do you want to split a sandwich."" I say, ""sure"" and then I'm just left with the bread."

"What do frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman have in common? An idiot who forgot to take it out earlier."