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Joke of the Day

"i made the mistake of watching a single zit popping video on youtube and now my recommendations screen is trying to make me barf"

"A T-100 is sent back to 2016 to terminate Trump and Clinton. Who survives? Not the next redditor to post a fucking 'America' version of the disaster set up."

"What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner? Watson the menu"

"Why is Helium so trustworthy? Because HE's noble."

"If Trump wins the election.... I hope he leaves us for a younger, more attractive Eastern European Country after a year or two."

"Bill Gates is donating $10Billion to help children everywhere get vaccinations. ...But you know they're just gonna spend it on booze."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to go to the other side."

"*man choking* Is there a doc in the house? *Dr Pepper rises* *searches man's pockets* Hey ur no doctor! *moustache falls off* *it's Mr Pibb*"

"For me sex is like a game Single player"

"Why are cows so horny? Cause they're always in the moo'd!"