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Joke of the Day

"A T-100 is sent back to 2016 to terminate Trump and Clinton. Who survives? Not the next redditor to post a fucking 'America' version of the disaster set up."

"What's the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out"

"You say kidnapping. I say surprise adoption. Tomato, Tomahto Get in the van."

"Don't say you love me unless you have bought me a miniature donkey. Without the donkey, they are just empty, meaningless words."

"Masking tape never makes a very realistic mask."

"The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday. very nice, but i think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch!"

"I'm going to name my penis Hitler... ...because with one stroke it ends millions of lives in the shower."

"I'm writing a story about a Pirate who sells corn... It's about a buccaneer."

"My girlfriend finished all my french fries... I couldn't KETCHUP."

"I love eating Swiss pancakes. They're like regular pancakes but neutral, so I can eat as many as I want."