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Joke of the Day

"The last time someone listened to a Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years!"

"""Well ... I'll be dammed."" Bodies of water when they see beavers coming."

"Why didn't the tree like to play checkers? Because it was a chesnut tree."

"My watch is loose, it keeps slipping out of my hand. ..maybe i should Titan it"

"Which part of the cabbage don't you eat? The wheelchair."

"Guns don't kill people. Cats don't sew mittens. Houses don't crap zebras. Lots of nouns don't verb other nouns. This isn't new information."

"I just invested in chicken stock. It's all gravy."

"Praying: It's like wanting to help without actually having to help"

"I left a tube of superglue in my pocket when I did laundry yesterday... ...it was a viscous cycle."

"the bad guy ships on star trek werent actually ""cloaking"" they just turned all their lights off"