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Joke of the Day

"I left a tube of superglue in my pocket when I did laundry yesterday... ...it was a viscous cycle."

"What do you call a retired soldier who's been blighted with mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran"

"Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She's still not talking to me."

"Thank you to the Spanish public for. .. ...rallying round and providing new headlines."

"Jokes religious people find offensive Why did chicken cross the road? He had cancer on his balls. P.S. He was actually Allah and not chicken"

"Only a fraction of you will understand this*. *There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator."

"They opened the tomb and were all, ""Where'd he go?"" and the angel said, ""He's at IHOP for never-ending pancakes"" and they were like, ""Word."""

"My favorite hobby is pretending to be surprised when my credit card is declined."

"so this cargo of brain transplants went missing and... uh... ... ah shit... lost my train of thought"

"Whats Fred Flintstones favorite drug? Crack Rock."