221990

Joke of the Day

"My watch is loose, it keeps slipping out of my hand. ..maybe i should Titan it"

"(God creating coyotes) God: Make them look like dogs. Angel: Exactly like dogs? God: But with a meth problem."

"What do you get when you put 50 Politicians in a room with 50 lesbians? 100 cunts that don't do dick."

"*mugger pulls a knife* Mugger: gimme your money Me: well this night took a SHARP turn *later* Doctor: it's a record for amount of stabs"

"When I see.... ...lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't bother, he's not coming."

"What did the scarecrow say when asked about his job? ""This job isn't for everyone, but hay...it's in my jeans"""

"(x) calls up a popular restaurant... The owner says, ""Sorry, we don't cater functions."""

"Difference Between a Midget and STD? Ones a clever runt...the other is a running cunt"

"If you ever come across a bear in the wild, throw a tiny bicycle at him. Then, just let his circus instincts take care of the rest."