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Joke of the Day
"""Well ... I'll be dammed."" Bodies of water when they see beavers coming."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend said things needed spicing up a bit in the bedroom, so she introduced me to pegging. It did the trick we've been together ten years now. Give or take."
"Mary had a little lamb And a side of mashed potatoes"
"Why was the pilot dying? Because he had terminal cancer."
"I told a psychiatric ward patient to stand in the middle of two black poles ... and he did it ! The absolute madman!"
"Idea: ""Celebrity Price Is Right"" where Gwyneth Paltrow guesses that loaves of bread cost $460"
"Sometimes girls look at me and say, ""Mmm not bad."" They don't say it out loud but I can tell they're thinking that."
"Saint Peter in Heaven So, I was in the mood for some ""Saint Peter in the gates of Heaven"" jokes... Anyone have something?"
"Police arrested two kids yesterday... one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off"
"I'm an astronaut, and recently decided to invite my girlfriend to my work. She said she needed some space."