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Joke of the Day

"Two lips Why do women have two lips? So they can piss and moan at the same time. ......sorry ladies of Redditing <3"

"Me: I'm not saying I hate your voice, but when you start talking, I understand the way dogs feel about fireworks. *howls* Co-worker:"

"If I untagged myself in your Facebook picture that had nothing to do with me, please consider it as a polite fcuk you."

"I once met a man from Nantucket... I don't know the rest, so fuck it."

"""It started out with a Kiss, how did it end up like this?""- Me, after eating an entire bag of Hershey's chocolate."

"After grandpa's unfortunate steamroller incident last year, man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family."

"A man walks up to a juice bar... There's no punch line."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles ^I ^am ^so ^sorry"

"Jamiroquai, because Jamirodepwessed."

"How much of a difference is there between the penis and testis? A vas deferens."