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Joke of the Day

"If I untagged myself in your Facebook picture that had nothing to do with me, please consider it as a polite fcuk you."

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"I have the heart of a lion... and a lifelong ban from the zoo."
"What's the difference between Amy Winehouse, Janice Joplin, Jim Morrison, and a bottle of scotch? (OC) A bottle of scotch can keep beyond 27 years."
"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where the cucumber goes."
"How do windmills feel about renewable energy? They're pretty big fans"
"I met my wife while on holiday. Which was awkward, as I'd told her I was going to a funeral."
"Sometimes I call meteors hot space potatoes and everyone just keeps ignoring me"
"Dentist: ""You need a crown."" - Patient: ""Finally someone who understands me"""
"Today my wife asked, ""would you still love me if I was ugly and fat?"" Turns out ""Yes I do"" was not the right answer."
"A guy walks into a bar.... ....with a pile of shit in his hands and says hey, look what I nearly stepped in..."