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Joke of the Day

"went to a temporary tatoo parlor it wouldn't wash off so I went back to complain but the shop was gone."

"Did you hear about Kurt Cobain's new album? He did a cover of The Wall by Pink Floyd"

"My boyfriend cheated on me So I convinced him to get matching tattoos... he went first and I went home"

"Say what you want about pedophiles.. At least they drive slowly around playgrounds."

"The First Time"

"Whats the difference between vaginal and anal sex? The vaginal sex can make your day, but anal sex will definitely make your hole weak."

"BOSS: I'm sorry I just don't trust your judgment. ME: [trying to pick up glass of water with both fists wedged in Pringles tubes] explain.."

"Why was the dildo company so successful? Good product placement."

"Why do pandas have black eyes? SHE FELL, DAMNIT! God! What is with all the fucking questions?"

"Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes."