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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about Kurt Cobain's new album? He did a cover of The Wall by Pink Floyd"

"I already have a date for Valentine's Day February 14th"

"My parents always taught me to pursue my dreams. That's why I take so many naps."

"If I park 20 spots from the store in an empty parking lot and you park next to me, I'm slamming my door into your car 34 times."

"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!"

"Hey, girl. Are you a potato? because I'm about to. Mash. You. Up. Oh. You ARE a potato. And a talking potato at that. My meds aren't working"

"(NSFW) Fact: The donkey is the only know animal that can reproduce by ass fucking."

"Websites that automatically start playing music are like friends that awkwardly start giving you a massage."

"Pro Tip: Use candles to set a romantic mood. Pro Tip Addendum: don't set the romantic mood right by curtains."

"Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit."