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Joke of the Day

"If I had $1 for every time somebody called me a racist... black people would rob me."

"Not a lot of people know this, but if you dress up like a pirate and go into Red Lobster, you eat for free."

"They cooled a man to absolute zero He is 0K."

"Oscar Wilde once boasted that he could make a pun on any subject... Someone called out ""The Queen!"" ""Ah"", replied Wilde, ""but the Queen is not a subject."""

"The oldest British joke (10th Century): What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key."

"Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job? [flashback to everyone chanting ""SHIT PANTS""] Me: It was just time for a change."

"Did you hear about the erectile dysfunction support group meeting? It was a total flop, nobody came."

"When I have kids I'm going to tearfully serve them scrambled eggs smothered in ketchup & tell them it's Humpty Dumpty."

"Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!"

"So my dog's pregnant & she's never been in contact with another dog & I'm having a lot of accusations thrown my way."