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Joke of the Day

"We found love in a hopeless place We found Steve in a frozen place We found Stark in an iron case We found Hulk in some gamma rays We found Thor punching Lokis face"

"Today I played dead with my 5yo nephew. He cried for 5 seconds, then grabbed my iPhone and run away."

"My sex life ."

"Gf: do I look fat in these pants? Brain: oh god it's a trap, this is what we've been training for Me: I've seen worse Brain: WTF MAN"

"Why doesn't anyone watch women's hockey? The games take 3 months to play!"

"The dyslexic jkoe A dyslexic man walked into a bra"

"Scientists report global context shortage. ""I guess I'll have flan,"" some scientist said, totally out of context."

"I've spent the last four years looking for my ex-wife's killer... ...but no one will do it."

"90's kids won't get this... Social Security benefits."

"CNN admits to dating Fox News."