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Joke of the Day

"Today I played dead with my 5yo nephew. He cried for 5 seconds, then grabbed my iPhone and run away."

"They say a moose can swim up to 6km/h. Not very funny but at least you learned something"

"We gave you Nickelback and Justin Bieber. You responded with the Kardashians and Honey Boo Boo. Well played America, well played"

"What did the termite eat for dinner? A table for two."

"Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people."

"How do you know that your girlfriend has been cheating on you with a black guy? When she takes the tampon out and all of the cotton's gone"

"Brexit's Worst-Case Scenario: Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovlong. Latervia. Byegium.. until EU reach the state of Germlonely."

"Everybody always says say ""No!"" to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late"

"I ran over a child who was on his way to band practice carrying his cymbals. I'll never forget that horrible sound as I rolled past his motionless corpse. Ba dum tiss"

"My Mexican friend is so indecisive He's always on the fence"