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Joke of the Day

"Scientists report global context shortage. ""I guess I'll have flan,"" some scientist said, totally out of context."

"What was the fat asian rapper's name? Too chinz"

"What do pothead barbarians say when 420 rolls around? 420 raze it!"

"Research shows vacuum cleaners can cause hearing loss. ""You should absolutely get rid of that monster,"" said one furry, panting scientist."

"I saw a homeless man holding a sign. It said, ""2 will change my life."" Unfortunately, I only had a 5 note in my pocket."

"I'm selling my talking parrot. Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried to sell me."

"I woke up hung-over to the sound of my neighbour mowing his lawn. He'll have to mow around me. I'm not moving."

"To be, or not to be, that is the question. Answer: FF [why?](/s ""2B OR NOT 2B = FF"")"

"My overnight bag is just a backpack full of Sour Patch Kids."

"What wears a leather jacket, and would kill you if it fell from a tree? An elephant wearing a leather jacket!"