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Joke of the Day

"Last week I gave a lecture on sexual dysfunction Nobody came."

"In the Philosophers prison... I shank, therefore you are not"

"How can you tell that the stage is level? The drummer is drooling out of *both* sides of his mouth."

"One time I accidentally listened to a John Mayer song & spontaneously generated 2 thumb rings before it was over."

"Jokes are sort of like Middle Eastern policies. Some are decent, but it's really the execution that counts."

"Geico could probably save you more than 15 percent if they stopped spending 95 billion dollars on advertising."

"What did the car dealer ask the oscilloscope? sin or cosine?"

"A man walks into a bar And goes right through it because hes a t1000"

"Q: How does an elephant climb a tree? A: He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up."

"Why don't Geordies use scales? Because they can weigh things by eye man."