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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell that the stage is level? The drummer is drooling out of *both* sides of his mouth."

"My girlfriend broke up with me after I said she's half the person I am... I weigh 240 pounds, not sure why she got so mad."

"Become a PhD After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD... or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it."

"Did you hear about that celebrity who committed suicide? Reese whatsername? ""Witherspoon?"" ""No, with a knife!"" Only really works if you actually tell it to someone (and can maintain a good pokerface)"

"What's worse than having ants in your pants? Uncles"

"Why couldn't the hunter cook breakfast? The game warden found out he poached his eggs!"

"I viewed a house with period features My wife hates it when I call her that"

"""HIV"" is trending above ""Grammys"" because AIDS is better than the ""music"" that was nominated."

"9/10 people think that mobbing at work is okay..."

"Why can't you suck air through your fist while bobbing your head back and forth? ;}"