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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Geordies use scales? Because they can weigh things by eye man."

"in a gay bar WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN SOMEONE FARTS IN A GAY BAR? A: A PICK UP LINE"

"Old enough -Mom I'm finally 15, can I have a boyfriend? -No. -Can I use high Heels? -No. -Can I use a mini skirt? -No. -But why? -Because you're a man, Bob."

"What do you have to know to be an auctioneer? Lots"

"I lit candles & put a trail of rose petals all over the house in confusing patterns so my husband can't find me drinking in the closet."

"The sign said: FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, but I doubt it."

"Would I be in a porno for a million dollars? It depends. What kind of porn? Will my mom see it? Do I have to pay the million all at once?"

"Why was the lonely instantiated object always asked to sit in the hallway at school? Because only friends were allowed to access the class."

"What is a parrot's favorite game? Hide and Speak!"

"Why did the chicken fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well."