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Joke of the Day

"Geico could probably save you more than 15 percent if they stopped spending 95 billion dollars on advertising."

"Walk into the club like whatup OWW Walk into the mace like what DAMN Walk into the sword like wha *dies* *flunks gladiator school*"

"A pirate walks into a bar ... ... and the bird on his shoulder is saying ""Pieces of Nine. Pieces of Nine"". It was a parroty error."

"How do you know if you have a high sperm count? Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows."

"if the waitress at this brunch doesn't give me the Mother's Day special then I shaved my legs and stole this baby for nothing"

"6: Mommy where are you putting your cameltoe this year? Me: 6: I like it Me: It's mistletoe son"

"Someone's just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only received super fish oil injuries."

"What do you call Jamal's dad during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years? Hide n' Seek World Champion 2010-2016"

"Terminator doesn't google himself he uses Altavista baby."

"A guy is talking to his friend about his new girlfriend ""I did her up the arse on the first date"" the guy reveals proudly. ""no shit?"" His friend replies. ""nah, she had an enema beforehand"""